After a day filled with hangovers, the sanest rally ever, hours of intense ping pong, and Chipotle burritos to prepare our bellies for the night, my friends and I cracked open a couple beers in my buddy's apartment in Arlington. A few deep, I said that a big part of me wants to leave my job, move out into/near NYC or DC, and use what little money I've saved to support myself while I find actual work.
As usual, Joe had a very strong opinion and told me that was about as foolish a thing as I could do. "You can't leave your job if you don't have another job lined up, especially not after working there only a few months." It wasn't a very controversial stance. I'm sure at least 85% of people would agree with him, as Mark did.
"But why?" I responded, trying to challenge the conventional wisdom.
They followed up with the usual reasons: it looks bad to switch jobs so frequently, what if things go wrong and I don't have health insurance or if I get into a car accident and I end up in the hole for $14,000.
"I don't think that way," I retorted.
"But you have to," both agreed. "You can't just be optimistic and expect that to get you by."
And so the conversation continued this way. It was one of the few passionate discussions about life I've ever shared with this group of friends. But - obviously since I am writing a post about it - it has stuck with me.
I would not disagree that you have to be aware of the worst that can happen to you, but to live your life trying to avoid any bad thing that can happen to you is futile and possibly harmful to you for several reasons.
1) Bad things are going to happen to you regardless your situation. My friend used his car accident as an example, but the irony of his comment is that the crash happened while he was living his "safe/smart" plan (the ""s aren't meant to be insulting; we just disagreed about the word "safe" and "smart"). You can't control what life throws at you; you can only control how you react, which brings me to point 2.
2) Life is a state of mind, and you will see what you want to. If you want to see each day as an opportunity to learn, grow, and help others do the same, life will be just that. If you choose to see each day as filled with potential perils, life will seem pretty dangerous. Living in a way that avoids pain, confrontation, accidents, and failure can trick your brain into convincing you that, should any of these things happen, there is no way you could deal with it.
3) Adaptability is a skill. Like any skill, some people are naturally better at it than others, but anyone can improve themselves tremendously with diligence, patience and determination. I have found that in situations of pain and discomfort I learn and grow the most. They force me to challenge what I thought up to that moment. They give me the choice to crumble or learn resilience and find a way to not only live through it, but to improve myself through it. In deaths, breakups, and my own failures I have learned much about myself. In putting myself in situations where I am uncomfortable - ranging from traveling Central America alone to stepping up to a Ping Pong table against someone who is much better than me - I learn how to adapt and how to deal with discomfort. In doing so, I gain a better understanding of myself and how I react to things. This allows me to put myself in new situations and not be afraid.
In the end, however, neither the risky side or the safer side is the right choice. Rather, as Aristotle says with his Golden Mean, we have to find a balance between the two and develop the ability to discern when it is proper to lean more one way or the other. Moving out so soon may turn out to be a move too impulsive even for me, and I definitely have to do some more reflecting on it before I decide what I'm going to do and when I'm going to do it. But if I do it, what's the worst that could happen? I think I could 1) die or 2) break my neck, both of which could happen at any time in my life. Less severe, I could get injured without being insured and leave myself in debt that would be with me for potentially most of my life. I could deal with that one, as big of a bitch as it might be. Even more benign, I could waste my money, not find a job, and have to move back home. Though it would be a shot to the ego for sure, it's hardly something I would call life shattering. And though it would be easy to point a finger in my face and say "We told you so," the lessons I'd learn would be invaluable. Plus, I'd rather risk and lose then never take a chance in the first place.
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