Wants and Needs

I ran to my car this morning in the cold rain, happy that at least I didn't have to deal with the frost this morning. I pulled out my iPod from the center console so I could practice my German lessons as I drove down the Turnpike. The iPod felt frigid in my hand and, after switching the hold button back and forth several times, I realized it was beyond resuscitation. "Damn it!" I cursed to myself, "Now I'm going to need a new iPod." The second statement sounded ridiculous to some part of me, and that more reasonable side responded, "Really, Tom? You need a new iPod?"

Instead of awkwardly talking to myself in German as I drove down the Turnpike,
this event sparked an interesting pseudo-Socratic dialogue in my head. "You don't really need a new iPod, Tom. You want one. Sure, it let you listen to music and German lessons whenever you wanted, it made your life slightly more convenient, but you never really needed it. In fact, you lived most of your life without an iPod and you hardly even used the one you broke."

And, of course, I was right. I didn't need it. But it led me on an interesting inward search. What else did I want but not truly need. It kind of went as follows:

Tom 1: My car. Without a doubt, I need my car, right?

Tom 2: Do you?

Tom 1: Of course. How else would I get to work?

Tom 2: Well, there's a train not far from your house that goes to New Brunswick and you have a bike.

Tom 1: Yeah, but that's just silly.

Tom 2: But it's a possibility, no?

Tom 1: I guess.

Tom 2: So, then your car isn't a necessity. It's a convenience. It facilitates your commute and gives you that much extra free time and money. Those are all good things, but you don't need them. You want them.

Tom 1: Hm... I guess you're right Tom 2. But what about something even more basic, like shelter, food and water? I wouldn't be able to live without those.

Tom 2: Well, why do you need those?

Tom 1: Because without them I would die!

Tom 2: So, you want to live?

Tom 1: Yes! Duh.

Tom 2: But do you need to live? I'll give you the answer: it's no. You want to live because living is enjoyable. When you live, you get to do things like make friends, accomplish goals, enjoy good food, have sex, cuddle afterwards, and so on. When you're dead, you most likely can't do any of these. You want to live because living can be very enjoyable and is probably more enjoyable than the alternative. You want to have shelter, to eat, and to drink so you can live.

So I'll stop my silly little dialogue there. My point is this. In our heads, we may tell ourselves we "need" this or that, but really it boils down to us "wanting" this or that. When we say the word "need," it's as if we are chained to that need and cannot possibly escape it. It's a lie, and if left unchecked, it can leave us feeling like prisoner's of circumstance.

My iPod broke and that sucks. I don't need a new one, and I'm not even really sure if I want one either. I know that what I want is to make the most of my life, regardless of the situation. I will do what it takes to do that, with or without an iPod.